Fear of messing up is a major roadblock for beginners getting started, and for folks of every level starting a new piece. This is especially true of artists with a history of perfectionism. What if I’m bad at it? What if I make a mess? What if I waste my supplies?
In theory, I’ve learned how to respond to each of these fears.
- What if I’m bad at it? You will be! Nobody was born with skill: you have to learn by doing.
- What if I make a mess? There is nothing wrong with making a mess! The experience is more important than the product you end up with at the end. Sometimes, making a mess is an important learning experience. Sometimes it’s fun!
- What if I waste my supplies? Using your supplies isn’t a waste, no matter what you end up with at the end. On the contrary, I’ve argued before that not using your supplies is a waste.
In practice, it’s a little harder to convince myself to get over that fear of the blank page. A blank page is a waste if it stays blank, but it’s also full of potential. As soon as you commit to some kind of artwork, you narrow those possibilities and commit to something imperfect.
On Reddit recently, I witnessed a conversation where a beginner asked “What if my first attempt is bad?” And someone responded, “Nobody has to see it.”
Social media has taught us that artists can or should put all their work online, but it’s not necessary. You are under no obligation to share your work with the world, or with anybody else at all. (You should also assume that your favorite artists are editing behind the scenes: they aren’t posting the stuff that went bad.)
I put a lot of my artwork online; I have since I started this medium. I used to share most pieces on Instagram, and for the last 3 years of the blog, I’ve posted a Monthly Retrospective with (almost) everything I painted that month. I do skip things that go really bad (or I don’t finish them), but I have posted almost everything I’ve finished.
In many ways it’s been helpful for me. It gives me an outlet that feels like accountability: I get “credit” for doing all this artwork, so it doesn’t feel like it’s just going into the void. I also has helped me to get over the fear or shame of sharing. Whatever I post, it’s mostly better than older artwork which I’ve already posted!
Still, thinking of each piece as a potential future post, or assuming that I’ll share it, can add to the blank-page-paralysis. This becomes especially acute when I’m in a rusty period: I haven’t done as much painting lately by volume, or I feel like my skills have regressed. Although I’m no longer a brand-new beginner facing down my first few messes, I’m also feeling freed by the idea that nobody has to see it.
This is one reason I’ve decided to retire the Monthly Retrospective series. Another reason is that it feels like the blog has outgrown it since we’ve been adding more authors. I no longer want the focus of the blog to be on me, the individual, and my work.
I will still post my artwork in topic-based posts, as relevant (and it is often relevant since I make art specifically for challenges and lessons). I’ll also occasionally update Collections, like my bird collection, my paintings of Danehy Park, or my new collection Around Roslindale.
It feels strange to paint “just because,” not planning on anyone seeing any individual piece, but it’s also freeing. I’m feeling more open to experimenting. It does not matter if I mess up. Nobody has to see it.