I resolve… to use my paper stash!

Well, I did it: I used my last page of Canson XL! Normally, this is when I’d buy more, even though I have a large pile of 100% cotton pads on my shelf. Instead, I have a belated resolution: I will stop buying cellulose practice paper and instead, use up my nice stash!

Don’t get me wrong: I have nothing against Canson XL. It’s my favorite in the category of relatively cheap, cellulose practice paper. It’s also good for gouache because of its smoothness. If I were on a budget and didn’t already have a stash of cotton paper, it would be a good choice.

But lately, as I use it up much faster than my cotton paper, I think I’m using it as a crutch. It’s not even really true that it’s cheaper in this specific case, when I have to go out and buy more while my cotton paper stash sits unused. The cheapest paper is the paper I already have!

So why am I continuing to buy cheap paper instead of using the expensive paper I already have?

Using the nice paper can feel like using the good china: it needs to be saved for a worthy occasion. The problem is, it never feels like a worthy enough occasion.

Reasons to use the good paper now

It won’t last forever.

The shelf life can be years, but watercolor supplies can go bad. Paints can harden and separate in the tube, grow moldy, and begin to smell. Paper sizing can go bad, resulting in splotchy paintings.

My good art supplies will never be in as good condition as they are right now. Now is the best time to use them.

I don’t need to be good.

It’s easy to tell myself that I will “deserve” the supplies more when I am better at art. But this is backwards. Good supplies make it easier. If I believe my skill level is low, that is all the more reason to provide myself with extra support in the form of supplies I don’t have to fight.

Everything is practice, and nothing is.

I often opt for cheap paper because what I am currently doing isn’t “a real painting,” it’s “just practice.” But I am beginning to feel that the real/practice dichotomy is an illusion and a crutch.

Over time, more and more things seem to fall into the category of “just practice.” It’s just swatches; it’s just a study; it’s just a sketch. Meanwhile, the category of “real painting” is increasingly elevated, out of reach, and pressure-filled. The bar is always moving for what counts as “real.” It has to be a certain size, a certain level of effort, take a certain amount of time, and if it comes out badly, it’s a big waste and I should feel bad!

I wish I could easily predict what’s going to turn out well, but I can’t! Sometimes a practice piece that I like turns out to be as “real” as anything else, and sometimes an intended “real” piece goes wrong and turns out retroactively to be “practice.

Rather than infinitely raising the bar on what counts as “real”, I would rather embrace the idea that everything is “practice.” But, I’m allowed – encouraged – required – to use my good supplies for practice, too!

Practicing on good supplies helps to learn them.

I have always switched between supplies frequently, but many artists suggest sticking with the same core set in order to get to know them better. It’s “miles on the paintbrush” that helps you to gain the sort of second-nature knowledge of how your paper and paints will react in different situations, different amounts of water, different levels of humidity, different seasons and temperatures and on and on. It’s hard to rack up those miles without a lot of practice.

Even swatches can look and feel different on different paper!

I bought it to use.

Art supplies are meant to be consumed. When I bought them, I wasn’t imagining that they would sit on a shelf. I was imagining all the nice times I would have using them. I won’t realize that investment until I have those nice times!

I resolve…

• I resolve not to buy more paper until I have gotten to the bottom (within one pad) of my stash. As I am now out of Canson XL, this will require me to use cotton paper for practice!
• When I am ready to buy more paper, I will choose 100% cotton variety that I like enough for “good paintings” but that does not cost so much that I feel unable to use it for practice.
• Using up my stash should not feel like a punishment. I will give away supplies that I hate, no matter how expensive.
• I will celebrate when I have used up a tube of paint or a pad of paper, or worn down a brush so much that it can only be used for texture. I am putting in the miles!